Each one with that 'perfect ending', a better result.
But I'm sure you see more, now at 27.....that life really has NO rules, and we each survive by our own means. Church, work, friends/family....they all have connections to how we feel and what keeps the person going. Perhaps I'd stopped a future, before trying to ....
Rachael....it is now 2015.....another six years have passed since I began with this last post.
In this time I have moved house and lost my father....your "pop".
I have also witnessed your move onto the stage, and as happy as I was to see that you had managed to fullfill a dream, was equally saddened by how you portrayed your life at home. But, in saying that to you, I am also aware of how different our views are, and am not about to dispute. Ive lost far too much time now as it is and even though your words were hurtful, I will continue to "hope".....because that's truly all that remains now...and my love. Just today I was going through my cupboards whilst doing a cleanout, and came across a diary I had written many years ago. Inside these pages was a history of "us", and we were happy....what happened to us Rach?? I couldn't bring myself to read anymore, just too sad, so I began looking at all the other items I had stored away. Do you remember the "Logie" award that you made, or that funny clay head-sculpture?? These are just a few of the things I treasure...and always will.
There were old school books (a couple courtesy of school library) paintings and cards.
Apart from what photo's I salvaged from destruction, these items are all that remains of you in my life, and that of your little brother.
There's really nothing more to add, except to tell you I have never stopped loving or missing you Rachael. Regardless of what you may think, (or have convinced yourself) not a day goes by that you don't enter my thoughts...and my prayers.
May God keep you safe, and may he someday open your heart just enough to realise life is much too short to live life with hate. Each year that slips by is just one more year closer to the end.
Stay safe Rachael....love your mother xxxx
